"The importance of being genuinely seen and heard can't be overestimated. One of the ways that the soul grows is by being seen and recognized. If a man has never been recognized at the soul level, he won't know who he is in times of crisis and he will feel inauthentic more often than not. If a man has never been heard, he'll have great difficulty listening to others.. . . In their responses to the mythic stories and as they tell their personal stories, men say surprising things, but you sometimes have to listen hard to hear them. The first piece of learning in this sudden community of men becomes opening the ears to the stories of others.
"It is encouraging to hear a painfully familiar theme spoken out from another man's life and startling to hear how different another's life can be. Often the inner story seems in great contrast to the outer man. Listening can be the fastest way of learning respect for what a man might carry inside. As the African proverb says: A man is like a pepper, until you've tasted what's inside you don't know how hot it is.
"The point of initiations, whether accidental or intentional, is to touch the mysterious core, pass through change, and return. It is like touching the fire that continually burns at the center of the earth or touching the depth of a great ocean. A touch is all that a human being can stand. One touch can change the course of a life forever. Trying to dwell in those depths, trying to live in the flames of those fires, makes people crazy. . . . But if we return from our rounds in the fires and waters of life, we may carry healing to the wounds that seemed incurable above, a healing that moves the world again."