"1. To remind yourself that 'Words of Affirmation' is your spouse's primary love language, print the following on a 3x5 card and put it on a mirror or other place where you will see it daily:
Words are important!
Words are important!
Words are important!
"2. For one week, keep a written record of all the words of affirmation you give your spouse each day. At the end of the week, sit down with your spouse and review your record.
"On Monday, I said:
'You did a great job on this meal.'
'You really look nice in that outfit.'
'I really appreciate your picking up the laundry.'
"On Tuesday, I said:
etc.
"You might be surprised how well (or how poorly) you are speaking words of affirmation.
"3. Set a goal to give your spouse a different compliment each day for one month. If 'an apple a day keeps the doctor away,' maybe a compliment a day will keep the counselor away. (You may want to record these compliments also, so you will not duplicate the statements.)
"4. As you read the newspaper, magazines, and books, or watch TV or listen to radio, look for words of affirmation which people use. Observe people in conversation. Write those affirming statements in a notebook. (If they are cartoons, clip and paste them in your notebook.) Read through these periodically and select those you could use with your spouse. When you use one, note the date on which you used it. Your notebook may become your love book. Remember, words are important!
"5. Write a love letter, a love paragraph, or a love sentence to your spouse, and give it quietly or with fanfare! (Chances are, when he dies, you will find your love letter tucked away in some special place.) Words are important!
"6. Compliment your spouse in the presence of his parents or friends. You will get double credit: Your spouse will feel loved and the parents will feel lucky to have such a great son-in-law or daughter-in-law.
"7. Look for your spouse's strengths and tell her how much you appreciate those strengths. Chances are she will work hard to live up to her reputation.
"8. Tell your children how great their mother or father is. Do this behind your spouse's back and in her presence.
"9. Write a poem describing how you feel about your spouse. If you are not a poet, choose a card that expresses how you feel. Underline special words and add a few of your own at the end.
"10. If you find speaking 'Words of Affirmation' is difficult for you, practice in front of a mirror. Use a cue card if you must, and remember, words are important."
