Look Within

"The following questions will prompt you to better understand your Core Story:

• "What is your most painful memory related to money? If no painful memory comes easily to mind, focus on the earliest memories you can recall about money, perhaps something you saw a parent or a school friend do with money. If you could put your response to this memory into the most childlike words possible, and make it short enough to fit on a bumper sticker, what would that response be? (For example, 'Save money so you won't go hungry' or 'Money is for helping others.') What story did you begin to tell yourself about money early on?

• "What is your biggest fear about money? Often, our fears fuel our Core Story. Think of your fear as a beacon that exists to point your attention to what is unconscious, and therefore very powerful, within you. Perhaps you had a fear of winding up in the gutter or of people hating you because you were rich. What experiences in your financial past may have contributed to your fear? If you have no obvious fear, do you feel greedy for more even though you have enough? Or do you feel just plain confused when it comes to money? Whatever your core feelings about money, ask yourself this: How have your past experiences contributed to these feelings?

• "What were you taught was most important about money? What were your parents' biases and values? Did you adopt them or rebel against them?

• "When have you been most positively or negatively moved by money?

• "Was it when you bought your first toy with your own money? When the game you'd been eyeing for months was given to your sister instead of you? When your parents finally gave in and bought you that bicycle you'd been whining about for months? When you shared your ice cream money with a child less fortunate than you? Think of joyful experiences or times of incomparable pleasure, status, power, or generosity. What role did money play in these experiences?

"Asking these questions will help you begin to identify and understand your particular Core Story, and to eventually loosen its grip on you."