"In nondirective listening, the listener attempts to do the following:
"1. Take time to listen. Whenever he senses the speaker has become emotional and needs to talk things out, he lets him.
"2. Be attentive. He concentrates on what the speaker is saying and uses gestures such as tilting the head slightly to indicate nonverbally that he is paying attention.
"3. Give the speaker feedback. Again he uses nonverbal communication to indicate approval – a smile or nod of the head is often all that is necessary.
"4. Not probe for additional information. There is a distinct difference between willingness to listen and curious intent. Probing often causes the speaker to withhold information he would otherwise reveal.
"5. Not be critical. He refrains from passing judgment on what is being said.
"6. Refrain or postpone giving advice. If asked for advice, he holds off, realizing that the speaker may evolve his own solution during the course of the talk.
"7. Respect the speaker and his worth. He makes the speaker feel important and worthwhile, but at the same time does not diminish his own image.
"One must keep silent in order to learn how to speak. Yet, although listening is a primary obligation of talking, this, too, has its problems. People have become extremely sophisticated in matters involving communication. One seminar participant complained that he disliked dealing with another individual because he always 'tried the art of listening on me.' Whatever techniques we use, we must consider all the possible results and effects upon each specific listener. They also should be chosen for appropriateness to a given situation."
