In her 1976 book Passages, Gail Sheehy probed the journey of adult life as a series of stages of growth filled with transitions and crises. In 1995, she wrote New Passages, taking a hard look at the advent of a Second Adulthood, beginning in one's mid-forties and fifties.
Today, nearly 50 million adults are serving as caregivers in almost one-third of American households. In this excellent resource, Sheehy writes about the challenges of caring for a loved one with a chronic illness — a partner, a parent, a sibling, or a child. Such caretaking can take up to an average of five years. Sheehy knows what this entails and she writes about her experiences of being a 17-year caregiver for her husband, Clay Felker, the energetic and creative editor who founded New York magazine. He was stricken with cancer in 1991 and the author shares their changes — moving to Berkeley where he got a teaching job; a vacation to France; shifts in doctors and treatment regimens; and constantly searching for fresh ways to deal with a chronic disease. Felker died in 2008 and in 2009 Sheehy served as AARP's Ambassador of Caregiving and traveled across the country making a film about caregivers. (The videos are available at www.GailSheehy.com.)
In searching for the best metaphor for the caregiver's arduous journey, Sheehy chooses the labyrinth — a circular route with the ability to order chaos. She then delineates what she calls the eight "Turnings" around the labyrinth of caregiving: Shock and Mobilization; the New Normal; Boomerang; Playing God; "I Can't Do This Anymore!"; Coming Back; the In-Between Stage; and the Long Good-Bye. Sheehy, a fine guide to the emotional journey of caregiving, wants us to see that this strange calling and passage in life is "a predictable crisis." Another point that is hammered home repeatedly is that this is not a solo operation but a collaborative effort involving family members, friends, neighbors, coworkers, community resources, and perhaps some paid aids. Throughout the book, Sheehy presents wise counsel and helpful resources. Reading the harrowing experiences of caretakers and finances, it becomes clear how more drastic and meaningful reforms must be made in the healthcare system.
