"Every tomorrow has two doors, we can enter through the door of resistance or the door of growth. The first is fueled by fear, the second by faith," writes Linda Douty, a seasoned spiritual director and retreat leader. Although there are drawbacks and physical challenges to aging, it also offers us a door to growth, maturation, and ripening. Or as the Austrian novelist Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach put it: "Old age transfigures or fossilizes." The choice is ours.
Many of the insights here were taken from Douty's interviews with 50 elders about their experiences. She observes that it is hard to grow old in a culture where staying young is the constant goal. She knocks down some of the sayings that grow out of this philosophy, such as "You can't teach an old dog new tricks" or "It's all downhill from here." A more sane approach is to see ourselves as getting wiser as we age, as making music with what we have, and as expanding our horizons. This can mean letting loose the creativity which was stifled in the past or resurrecting buried dreams.
The process of aging also offers us opportunities to process the many messages our bodies are giving us at this time of life. We should listen to the body's cues and respect them, especially as they relate to coping with pain and illness, libido, and longevity. At this stage of life, we should also pay attention to the complicated relationships with partners, friends, adult children, and the world. Douty moves on to cover our ever-changing images of God, our understandings of prayer, our discernment of the Spirit's guidance, and our trusting the divine Mystery.
The last three chapters explore the surprising challenges, gifts, and wisdom of old age. She covers going solo, setting boundaries, accepting the life you've lived, the healing power of play, delight in the details, living through loss, learning to receive, and fanning the flame of curiosity and optimism. Linda Douty opens the door to the fresh possibilities and surprises of later life.
