Charlie Bloom and Linda Bloom are psychotherapists and marriage counselors who teach communication seminars and relationship workshops throughout the world. They have been married 38 years and have a website, www.bloomwork.com. In this helpful and accessible paperback, they report on the two years they spent interviewing 27 couples who had been together for an average of 30 years. The national trend is that slightly over 50 percent of all first marriages end in divorce, so these men and women have beaten the odds even while facing severe crises or time-consuming challenges.
In the interviews, we hear men and women affirming qualities which are at the heart of lasting intimate relationships: commitment, vulnerability, humility, integrity, honesty, and generosity. Here are some of the thematic topics covered by these couples: healing old wounds, making time to be truly present for each other, seeing certain breakdowns as breakthroughs, the importance of play, the ability to tolerate differences, the necessity of self-care, the avoidance of blame games and holding grudges, the ample rewards of enjoying each other's company, the sharing of a commitment to something beyond the relationship, and being friends who have a lot of interests.
At the end of an interview with Michael and Justine Toms, founders of New Dimensions Radio, he says: "We know that marriage is not the only way to enjoy a deeply fulfilling life, but for us it has brought riches unimaginable. Even though we laughingly call our committed relationship a 'conscious crucible,' we know that each of us has grown, and hopefully will continue to grow, in an ongoing practice of ever-deepening love." This kind of mature wisdom characterizes the interviews in Secrets of Great Marriages.
