Andrew Bernstein is the founder of ActivInsight, a process that is rapidly changing the way individuals and organizations around the world understand stress and resilience. Most of us say that stress is a major factor in our private and public lives. We usually attribute it to the pressure and burdensome responsibilities that dog us every day. Or the deadlines and to-do-lists that compel us to overwork and exhaust ourselves. We also feel the weight of competition in the marketplace and the need to be successful. Money is another stressor — and that usually means that we do not have enough of it to keep ahead or to not rely heavily on credit cards. Some people are lonely and complain of the stress that accompanies that situation.

Bernstein concedes that we all experience varying degrees of stress. But there is a myth about where this stress comes from and what we can do about it. He is very critical of the work of Dr. Hans Sely, the so-called father of stress who contended that it was a physical and emotional reaction to adverse external influences. Bernstein disagrees:

"Stress doesn't come from what's going on in your life — it comes from your thoughts about what's going on in your life. Your job isn't stressful — your thoughts about your job are stressful. Your relationship doesn't stress you out — your thoughts about your relationship stress you out. All stress is an inside job, a result of subconscious assumptions."

Bernstein has come up with a seven-step process which he calls ActivInsight that has been used by thousands of leaders at Fortune 500 companies and not-for-profit organizations. The process involves getting rid of counterfactual thoughts and making the most of insights which replace them. To elucidate just how this all works, Bernstein applies the process to twelve commonly stressful issues: traffic, anger, conflict resolution, weight loss, success, financial happiness, uncertainty, a broken heart, having too much to do, regret, discrimination, and dying too soon. Pick and choose the challenges which bother you most and see how they can be handled. Bernstein's reframing of stress and how to reduce it is very helpful.