A fourth-generation Harvard graduate who grew up in Boston, journalist and writer Emily Benedek temporarily loses her eyesight in Dallas, Texas. Although doctors eventually track down the physical origin of this blindness, she realizes its source: "a deep psychic confusion, a rupture from myself." Benedek starts therapy with Dr. Andresen who helps her to see the spiritual yearning inside for meaning, connection, ritual, and community.
This engaging and richly nuanced spiritual memoir is beautifully written, taking in its embrace the author's honest and zigzagging encounter with her Jewish roots. Benedek participates in a class on Jewish mysticism at the Jewish Community Center in Dallas and then attends her first Sabbath service at the congregation led by her teacher, an Orthodox rabbi.
The author discovers that she likes being in the company of these zealous believers who try to practice a 24-hour-a-day "devotion to religious life and observance." Rabbi Fried, who takes an interest in her spiritual quest, tells her: "In Judaism, we're supposed to take the physical world and elevate it to the spiritual. By doing so, we connect the things that are finite with those that are infinite. The secret of the world is this connection. And the one that keeps it connected is the human being."
Moving back to New York, Benedek spends Shabbat with Orthodox families and deepens her study of Judaism with Orthodox teachers. "Finally, I am hearing the stories of my own people, and they are like the foundation on which I am building the beginnings of a home." Benedek eventually joins a synagogue in Manhattan and sings in the choir. Throughout this memoir, the link between song and Jewish experience is emphasized. In the end, she concludes: "My appreciation for study with the Orthodox does not lead me to worship with them, however. I cannot get past the separation of men and women, in geography, roles, and expectation." Nonetheless, these spiritual teachers help rekindle her yearning for God and her understanding of Jewish life.