"By the same token we can develop an immunity to death in the same way, that is, by taking weakened doses of it every now and then. Death is the ultimate 'sickness' which we must all inevitably face. Yet, consider how society deals with it. Our first recourse is flight. There are many ways of fleeing death. We refuse to talk about it, we change the subject as soon as we can, we don't listen when it is brought up, or we beat a hasty exit. We also cosmetize death so that it will appear prettier than it is. How often do people comment at wakes at how 'good' a corpse looks? We put deceased bodies in ornate and comfortable 'beds.' We surround them with flowers so that everything about death will look pretty as a picture. It's what I call a 'deny and rely' response. Deny its reality and rely on your ingenuity to get around it. Nor have we helped our children to deal realistically or effectively with death. How can they when we don't? Death is unreal to children. It has no physical finality in their world. They see familiar faces die on television and in the movies only to reappear later in another film or series. Even violent or brutal death, to which they are subjected much too often in the media, lacks conviction. It is just simply fantasy.
"If, however, we deal realistically with death in small doses whenever it arises we can begin to develop a healthy resistance to it. No soldier on the battlefield deals with death as a fantasy. Nor does a surgical nurse or a grief counselor. Yet, one need not have to deal with death with such repeated regularity in order to build up one's resistance. We must give each death that enters our life the attention it deserves, neither fleeing from it nor wallowing in it. It should be a time to share with family (old and young as well) and friends its meaning, its physical finality and spiritual implications. It is never something that should be passed over lightly or morosely. It is rather like getting your flu shots. They protect against this year's epidemic but you'll need another for next year's.
"Actually, sickness is a lessened form of death, a sort of minideath. It is a rehearsal for the great performance. Someone once told me that life is a rehearsal for death. While I believe that life is a whole lot more, that is certainly an essential part of it. The better rehearsed we are, the better the chances for our performance."
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