Bring to mind someone for whom you care deeply, and imagine this person as clearly and vividly as possible. Watch as the person walks through the door and into the room. Listen for the sound of a voice, a laugh. Feel his or her presence. You may sense a smile cross your face, a sparkle come into your eyes, or you may experience a rush of warmth. You skin may soften. Notice whatever it is that you experience when you imagine this person before you. If he or she were to irritate you, you might be temporarily upset, but ultimately you would forgive. If you imagine this person hurt or in pain, what do you feel? How deeply would you wish for him or her to be free of suffering? How far would you go to help?

Reflect on all the reasons for feeling this way about your friend, all the reasons you find that person special. How much of this specialness has to do with a special relationship to you? If you didn't know this person, would he or she be any less special? Recall a time when you did not know this person, when he or she was still a stranger to you, and consider that some years from now, this person may no longer be as special to you. Is your friend really more deserving of love and compassion because of your feelings in this moment? Was your friend less deserving of love and compassion before your acquaintance? Would your friend become less deserving if you were no longer close? Is there any guarantee your feelings will remain as they are right now?

Now think of a neutral person, a stranger. Bring a specific person to mind – perhaps the cashier at the grocery store, the bank teller, or the person sitting in the booth in a public parking lot. Imagine this person as clearly as possible. Notice your feelings when you look at this person. You may feel neither great warmth, not especially withdrawn. You may experience a removed curiosity. Whatever your inclinations are toward most people, open or suspicious, accepting or critical, you may notice those feelings surface now, since you have little information to draw on. Observe those tendencies.

Notice how quickly you project an image onto someone. Ask yourself why this person means so little to you. If he or she were to be ill or in pain, how much would it bother you? Perhaps you think this stranger means little to you because you share no relationship. This person's existence has no effect on you or your life. Can you be certain it will always be this way? All your friends began as strangers, and this person, who seems unimportant to you, could become your best friend in the future. This person, even as a stranger, may at some future time save your life, or the life of a loved one. Should this stranger's share of happiness and joy depend upon sharing a relationship with you at this moment?

Now bring a third person to mind – a person for whom you feel a measure of dislike or hostility, someone who pain or suffering would not disturb you, someone in whose experience of misfortune you might even take pleasure. See this person in your mind and feel your dislike, your disapproval, or revulsion. You may find yourself grimacing. Observing your body, you may notice a tightening of the chest, rigidity in your arms or legs, or the hot flush of anger across the back of your neck. Or perhaps you will feel a sharp blade of animosity and hostility in your solar plexus. Think about the basis of these feelings. There was a time when you didn't know this person, a time when his or her image would not particularly have moved you. Or there may have been a time when this person was your most intimate companion for whose presence you pined night and day. Whatever the case, these feelings of hatred or hostility were not always there, and they may be completely gone at some future time. This person may become your most trusted ally. Why should this moment in time determine his or her right to love and compassion?

Aura Glaser in A Call to Compassion