Begin by settling into a posture that is comfortable yet alert, and then follow the mindfulness stages of settling, grounding, resting, and breath support…. If you do not have much time, then just engage with your soothing rhythm breathing…. Now image that you are identifying with your compassionate self. Bring to mind each of the qualities of your compassionate self and feel into the qualities within you. Remember to create a friendly facial expression and imagine you have a warm voice tone.

Now create a picture of yourself in your mind's eye as if you're looking at yourself from the outside. You could imagine that you are watching a video of yourself going about your day. With the eyes of your compassionate self, watch your ordinary self get up in the morning and move around your room, and then get on with the day. Notice how this ordinary self is often troubled by difficult emotions or life circumstances, and how it often feels under stress and pressure, sometimes lapsing into rumination and worry, perhaps about money or nagging concerns about relationships or struggling with difficult emotions. Allow yourself to be in touch with the struggle of the person you're watching – the ordinary you – but hold to your position of inner strength and wisdom looking out through the eyes of your compassionate self with the intention of being kind and helpful.

While holding on to your compassionate self and maintain your friendly facial expression and warm voice tone, see yourself in your mind's eye and image directing the following wishes to yourself:

  • May you be free of suffering [and say your name – for example it might be: "May you be free of suffering, Paul," or "May you be free of suffering, Choden," really focusing on the feeling that's coming from your compassionate self to the self that you see in your mind's eye].
  • May you be happy, [say your name].
  • May you flourish, [say your name].
  • May you find peace, [and say your name].

You can also do this exercise using the pronoun "I," thinking "May I be happy, may I be free of suffering," and so on. You may wish to try both options and see which one you prefer.

For as long as it feels comfortable, direct these feelings to yourself on the out-breath. Don't worry if you can't remember all the phrases; just focus on the ones you can remember and which you relate to. If you feel yourself getting pulled by difficult feelings when you generate compassion for yourself, then come back to resting in the awareness of your compassionate self.

It is very common to experience resistance to feeling compassion for ourselves. It may be related to all manner of things like feeling we don't really deserve it, or because it brings up feelings of sadness or a yearning for closeness. Whatever resistance may arise, just notice it and mindfully return to the practice. You might even try to be compassionate to the fact that you are experiencing resistance. When you have finished sending these wishes, let the image of your ordinary self fade and spend a few moments tuning in to the feelings that have arisen in you, noticing in particular how this feels in your body. Then rest without focusing on anything in particular, stretch, and get up.

— Paul Gilbert, Choden in Mindful Compassion