In Gwen Thompson’s poem about living a virtuous life, she wrote: "Soft of eye and light of touch; speak little, listen much." Many people have a natural inclination to talk much more than listen. The pairing of the words in this couplet paint a picture of a person who acts with true compassion: the eyes are "soft"; that is, looking into another person’s eyes with kindness. One of the most important skills a good listener has is the ability to make appropriate eye contact. A "light touch" is a metaphor for gentle words, calling to mind the image of laying a friendly and comforting hand on somebody as they speak. Bring this imagery to mind whenever somebody is angry or upset when speaking to you. Try to take the form of the good listener. Wait and allow the person to vent emotions, even if what the person says does not align with the facts as you know them. After venting, the person may be more ready to apologize or listen to reason than if you had interrupted, fired back immediately, or "corrected" their recollection of events.
Good listening can also mean paraphrasing or asking important questions when appropriate. If a person is telling you a story, you might find yourself internally trying to relate the story to another story that you can tell. Instead, ask questions that show interest and curiosity. Find something interesting about what the person is saying and ask further questions about it. You’ll help the person feel good about themselves and good about you.
— Alexandra Chauran in Compassion is the Key to Everything