Simple as this meditation appears to be, it has worked with numerous people, men and women, young and old.

1. You notice yourself withdrawing. You have a critical reaction to some physical aspect of the person you are trying to love, or may have loved before. Don't verbalize your disdain! Accept this reaction as you would a dark cloud passing by. You are interested in it, but not attached to it. Let it go, and focus on your breathing.

2. Go back in time and recall having a loving feeling. It could be for anyone, even a pet. Open your heart and breathe in that feeling, sending it back out to your intended lover. As you do this, recall some aspect about them that is particularly endearing or admirable. It could be physical, intellectual, emotional, or spiritual. Let the love permeate your entire body, spreading like a warm wave from your heart, and send it out to them. Repeat this process every time you think about or are with your lover. Eventually they will become the epitome of beauty to you. Allow your love to flow freely, physically, through your body, to this person, who more than deserves it.

Arthur Samuels in Zen and the Art of Intimacy