When you accept someone:
1. You honor the full sweep of your emotions.
2. You give up your need for revenge but continue to seek a just resolution.
3. You stop obsessing about the injury and reengage with life.
4. You protect yourself from further abuse.
5. You frame the offender's behavior in terms of his own personal struggles.
6. You look honestly at your own contribution to the injury.
7. You challenge your false assumptions about what happened.
8. You look at the offender apart from his offense, weighing the good against the bad.
9. You carefully decide what kind of relationship you want with him.
10. You forgive yourself for your own failings.