Death was right there in the room with me. I realized that this might be the moment of my death. I felt shocked, and there were many thoughts going through my mind until I had a further experience. I had never felt anything like it before because in the midst of my confusion and shock I became very calm, very "at rest," and there was sort of "embrace of God" that reassured me and gently told me. "Don't be afraid. Your are safe. I am going to bring you home. You belong to me, and I belong to you."

I was so amazingly at peace that later that night after the surgery when I woke up in the intensive care unit, I felt extremely disappointed. I asked myself, "What am I doing here and why am I still alive?" I kept wondering what had happened to me. Gradually I realized that perhaps for the first time in my life I had contemplated my death not through the eyes of fear but through the eyes of love. Somehow, if only for a moment, I had known God, felt unconditionally loved, and I had experienced being a lover.

Henri J. M. Nouwen, The Heart of Henri Nouwen by Rebecca Laird, editor, Michael J. Christensen, editor