"You can't disappoint another human being, and another human being can't disappoint you. You believe the story of how your partner isn't giving you what you want, and you disappoint yourself. If you want something from your partner and he says no, that's reality. It leaves you as the provider. This is good news, because it allows you to get what you want. If you don't have him to help you, you have yourself. Obviously, if he says no, you're the one who is supposed to help you.
"Wanting Stephen to love me would assume that he doesn't. It would be the opposite of love. I want him to love whomever he loves. People see how much I love him, and they call that love, but I'm just a lover of what is. I know the joy of loving, so I know it's not my business how he directs his love. My business is simply to love him.
"No one you love can leave you. Only you can do that. Whatever his commitment is, your commitment is what you can count on, until it changes (if it changes). The one marriage vow that Stephen and I took was 'I promise to love you until I don't.' A long-term commitment is for this moment only. Even if someone says he is committed to you forever, you can never know that, because as long as you believe that there is a 'you' and a 'him,' it's only a personality committing to a personality, and, as I often say, personalities don't love, they want something.
"There's a lot to be said for monogamy. It's the ultimate symbol for One, because it keeps your mind focused on one primary person. You just have to question everything you believe about him, every story of him that arises in your mind. Monogamy is a sacred thing, because the mind can be very still in that position. One person will give you the experience that a million people could give you. There's only one mind. Your partner will bring up every concept ever known to humanity, in every combination, so that you can come to know yourself and realize that you are the creator of all suffering. If you can just learn to love the one you're with, you have met self-love.
"We are love, and there's nothing we can do to change that. Love is our very nature. It's what we are when we no longer believe our own stories."