"Friendship requires leisure. This fine cultural form cannot survive without the time and leisure that are its lifeblood. I love the East Indian custom of standing next to someone in silence, probably just a step in back of him, if you wish to make friends with him. Silence, waiting, time, respect for another's space — these are the elements of friendship.

"Chinese culture has a gentle way of talking about friendship: their proverb is that the fifth cup of tea between friends is the best. Tea was made in old China simply by pouring hat water over loose tea leaves in a cup. The explanation of the proverb is that when friends meet, busy and tense from the outside world, the first cup of tea is drunk hastily and without much grace. The second pouring of water requires a longer time to steep the leaves. This is better. The third cup requires still more time. The fifth cup stands for an appreciable length of time before the tea is of the required strength. It is this fifth cup that becomes the symbol of friendship at its best. Even an introverted Chinese person needs the quiet passage of time, measured in cups of tea, to define the deepest friendship. There may be a subtle Chinese hint at another dimension in the symbol of the fifth cup of tea; our word for quintessence, meaning whole or total, derives from 'fifth essence.' Wholeness requires time."