Before watching this documentary about monogamy, romantic relationships, open marriages, and polyamory, look through these assorted cultural myths and choose the ones that are in sync with your ideas on marriage:

  • All you need is love.
  • When you've lost that loving feeling, it's gone, gone, gone.
  • Commitment means staying together no matter what.
  • Good relationships require more effort than they're worth.
  • Sex is more important than security and sacrifice.
  • Variety is the spice of life.
  • There's no point in sticking with an unhappy marriage.

Following his divorce, Tao Ruspoli, an independent filmmaker, sets out to make a documentary that takes a hard look at monogamy and other options in modern-day society.

The filmmaker examines the zany bits and pieces in his own family tree including his father, an Italian prince, and his grandfather, a Spaghetti Western star, who sought out passion and adventure in their love relationships. Ruspoli spends a lot of time interviewing sex advice columnist Dan Savage who speaks out for those who take chances on free love and other tradition-breaking erotic experiments.

What Monogamish comes down to is the idea that monogamy is "not a problem you solve, but a paradox that you manage."

In an interview, Ruspoli sums up what he learned in this quest:

"We have tendencies in both directions. We want to pair up with people, we want to make commitments to each other and have a sense of safety and security. But we also have other desires to explore, have a sense of mystery in our lives and obviously keep our sexuality alive. So the question is, how do we negotiate all these tensions?"