Your problem is not the fact that you're inherently flawed and that there's something wrong with you, though that's what we have all been taught to believe about ourselves. Trying and failing is not proof that you are inadequate, wrong, and doomed to failure. It is proof that you are a "mini-world," with all the fear, hatred, conflict, ideals, hurts, and dreams of the larger world. As you prove this to yourself, it will be obvious that our greatest opportunity as human beings is first to resolve these conflicts in ourselves and then work together to resolve them for all.

How? Step by step, through acceptance. You draw a circle of acceptance and begin to work systematically with the part of you who keeps a particular piece of content outside the circle of acceptance.

Step 1
You recognize where you hold that resistance in your body.
Step 2
You listen to the voices in your head about why this particular thing is unacceptable.
Step 3
You allow and make peace with the emotions that arise in reaction to those conditioned beliefs.
Step 4
You realize the conditioned behaviors that follow these physical sensations, thoughts, and emotions are just that — programmed reactions based in nothing but habit.

As you accept each step along the way, two processes happen simultaneously.

you cease to identify with the suffering self, with the experiences of mindless reaction to unexamined stimuli, and begin to recognize your authentic self as conscious, compassionate, and accepting.

you free the conditioned, reactive aspects of the personality, allowing them to return to their authentic nature.

Cheri Huber in When You're Falling, Dive