Zen practice provides a beautiful sense of freedom. When a person leaves, she is not to be pursued. You appreciate the time you had with her but do not impose a sense of obligation or guilt about when she will return. As you learn to give others respect and freedom, you are simultaneously giving it to yourself. It is easy to inadvertently make people feel obligated or guilty. You may want them to stay to keep you happy. It is painful to face separation, and you may do anything to keep someone close by. This is not love but possessiveness. It is not the Zen spirit, nor is it an example of truly caring for that person or being kind. Zen practice returns each person to her true nature, to ultimate freedom to follow her heart, do what is needed, stay when she wants, and go when it is time.
— Brenda Shoshanna in Jewish Dharma