I am aware that I will always be fearful in some way. But I do not have to be fear-based in my behavior or choices. I can hold my fear in one hand and my commitment to no longer act in a fear-based way in the other. Somehow that combination seems more doable than no fear at all.

A useful spiritual practice in any predicament is to hold both hands out, cupped, palms upward, and imagine them holding just such opposites. We feel the light and equal weight of both, since our hands are empty. We then say, for example, "I can serenely hold both my need for relationship and my not having one right now."

Here is another example: I lose my job and am depressed and scared. At the same time, I know I have to search for another job. I hold my unemployed situation in one hand with serene acceptance of the reality of my loss. I hold my plan to do a job search in the other. This is how my depression, a given of every life from time to time, does not descend into despair. Holding my opposites grants me serenity and courage. This practice combines the style of mindfulness with psychological work on self-esteem.

David Richo in The Five Things We Cannot Change