Whatever has your attention will increase and multiply.
If you focus on being a victim, you will become a superb victim.
If you insist on rejecting yourself through harsh or punishing thoughts, you will feel rejected.
If you pay constant attention to what has hurt or offended you, or to what limits you, you will feel increasingly crushed and powerless.
Turn that around.
Pay attention to what you have learned from a difficult situation, and to the strengths and values you need to move forward. You will grow powerfully in resilience as well as self-respect.— Stephanie Dowrick in Choosing Happiness: Life & Soul Essentials