As a goal, we could all try to catch ourselves when we talk about “both sides” of an issue — and talk instead about “all sides.” And people in any field can try to resist the temptation to pick on details when they see a chance to score a point. If the detail really does not speak to the main issue, bite your tongue. Draw back and consider the whole picture. After asking, “Where is this wrong?” make an effort to ask “What is right about this?” — not necessarily instead, but in addition.

— Deborah Tannen in The Argument Culture