When someone asks you a question, pause for three or four seconds before responding. If this feels awkward, you might say something like, "That's a good question. Let me take a moment to reflect before responding."

When you are listening to someone and he stops speaking, wait three or four seconds before you respond. The other person often has more to say, which will be lost if you jump in right away.

When you are listening to someone and she finishes talking, ask the question, "Is there anything else?" Sometimes there is something right there, waiting to be said. Sometimes the person will reflect for a moment and then realize that there is more to say. It's OK to repeat the question after the next silence. Eventually, the answer will be "No."

Kay Lindahl in Practicing the Sacred Art of Listening