I have a friend who is a preschool teacher. One day she shared with me one of her great parenting secrets: "Spend twenty minutes first thing in the morning with your child with no agenda and the rest of the day will go much more smoothly. You'll have less trouble getting ready for school, less clinging when you drop your child off, and fewer conflicts at the end of the day." I took her advice and it was remarkably effective. When I reported back in, she told me that I would be amazed at how many parents tell her they don't have twenty minutes to spend, and so they end up struggling with their kids all day and evening long, using up way more time than twenty minutes.

To me, this is a story about how we can so easily be penny-wise and pound-foolish, with time as well as money. It's also about how setting the tone in the morning really does affect what happens for the rest of the day. Many people, particularly women, report to me that when they take even ten minutes for themselves when they first wake up, they have much more resilience the rest of the day….

Right now, take a few moments to figure out when and where you can find the time to tune in to yourself in the morning….

Those few minutes are your chance to prepare yourself for the day ahead. How are you feeling? What's on your mind? What is your soul longing for? Where might you need some help? What quality do you want to bring into your day - a sense of spaciousness, peace of mind, an open heart?

Then for one minute in the evening, mentally review the day, noticing whether your morning tune-in was effective. Were you more resilient and flexible? Did you cruise through the day in a generally positive way? What worked and didn't? Learning happens after an event when we stop and reflect, so give yourself that one minute in the evening to figure out whether the tune-in is useful or not.

Try it for a week and then decide whether this is something you would like to do on a regular basis. Our reservoir of patience is refilled through attention to our own needs.

— M.J. Ryan in The Power of Patience