The process of inquiring after these attributes is called cheshbon hanefesh, an accounting of the soul. Each evening before going to sleep ask yourself, for example: Just how compassionate am I? Review situations during the day when you acted without compassion and times when you did not. Can you see why you were compassionate in one instance and not in another?
Pay attention and become aware when compassion is present or when it should be called upon. Work honestly with yourself to identify compassion and when to use it. You will know when you are doing it right because you will sense a bond, a union, between you and the person you are engaging. This is tikkun, the repairing of your seemingly separate self in the greater unity of God.— Rami Shapiro in Open Secrets