Follow their lead. Pay attention to what the person who is grieving thinks they need, not to what you think they should need or do. There are many styles of grieving. Some grievers want your attention, and others want to be left alone. Regardless, letting them know you are there and that you care can be a comfort. Trust your own sense of the person. You might send a note at first rather than calling them. That respects their privacy while opening your door to them.

Create a safe place. There is a fine balance between being sensitive and hovering or being overbearing. The Death Taboo has made many of us quite awkward around the grieving. As we break down our resistance to the normalcy of death, we will learn to create a comfortable spaciousness without such awkwardness.

Judith Johnson in Making Peace with Death and Dying