Here is one simple exercise to help us discover what we love. Look to see where we give our time and attention. Attention is the physical manifestation of love. If I keep pushing my children away when they want me to play with them, they do not feel loved. I may have love in my heart; I may feel joy when I see them, and want only the best for them. But they will feel my love only when I turn around and give them my undivided attention. Through my attention, they experience my love.
Attention is a tangible measure of love. Whatever receives our time and attention becomes the center of gravity, the focus of our life. This is what we do with what we love: We allow it to become out center.
What is at the center of your life? Carefully examine where you spend your attention, your time. Look at your appointment book, your daily schedule. These things — these meetings, errands, responsibilities — this is where you dedicate your precious days, hours, and moments. This is what receives your care and attention — and, by definition, your love.
What do you notice about those people and things that get your attention? Is this what you wish to love? Are these the people and situations you hope will receive the gift of your life and your companionship? Are these the places you would intentionally choose to offer your love and devotion? Why or why not?
We become what we love. Whatever you are giving your time and attention to, day after day, this is the kind of person you will eventually become. Is this what you want?— Wayne Muller in How, Then, Shall We Live?