• Select a bitter sorrow, a serious grievance against someone, or a punishing charge against yourself, and review it in complete detail.
  • Hold in your mind the image of whatever is to be forgiven — yourself, another person, a past event — and say, "I release you from the grip of my sadness, disapproval, or condemnation." Concentrate quietly on this intention.
  • Imagine for awhile what your life will be like without the sorrow or grievance that has been haunting you.
  • Make amends with someone you've hurt or someone who has hurt you; tell a friend about your self-forgiveness; or otherwise link your inner work to your relationship.
  • Ask for God's help to overcome fear or resistance at any step. If you do not believe in God, ask for help from all nature, humanity, and the mysteries of your own mind. These are the channels through which aid is sent — and aid is always sent.
  • Have patience. Forgiveness induces healing which follows its own order and timing. Whether you think you have accomplished anything thus far is less important than the fact that you have attempted a radical act calling forth change beyond your imaging. Go about your daily business, but stay alert to unexpected shifts in your thinking, feelings, and relationships.
  • Repeat steps 1 though 6 as often as necessary, for life.
D. Patrick Miller in A Little Book of Forgiveness