Shadow Has A Gift
"Every aspect of ourselves has a gift. Every emotion and every trait we possess helps show us the way to enlightenment, to oneness. We all have a shadow that is part of our total reality. Our shadow is here to point out where we are incomplete. It is here to teach us love, compassion, and forgiveness, not just for others but also for ourselves. And when the shadow is embraced, it can heal us. It is not just our denied 'darkness' that finds its way into the recesses of our shadow. There is a 'light shadow,' a place where we have buried our power, our competence, and our authenticity. The dark parts of our psyches are only dark when they are stuffed away and hidden. When we bring them into the light of our consciousness and find their sacred gifts, they transform us. Then we are free."
— The Dark Side of the Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance, and Dreams
Being a Bitch Owned Me
"I could see how being a bitch owned me, I worried about it all the time, but I still didn't want to own it. 'What is good about being a bitch?' she asked. As far as I could see there was nothing good about it. But then she said, 'If you were building a house and the contractors were running over budget and were three weeks late, do you think it would help to be a little bitchy?' Of course, I said yes. 'When you need to return merchandise in your business, does it help to be a bitch at times?' Of course, I said yes. Jan asked me if I could see now being a bitch at certain times was not only useful but a great quality to possess if you wanted to get things done in the world. Suddenly this part of myself — which I'd tried desperately to hide, deny, and suppress — was set free. My whole body felt different. It was as if I had just dropped a hundred-pound weight from around my neck. Jan had taken this aspect of myself and showed me that it was a gift, that it was not something to feel shameful about. If I allowed it to exist, I wouldn't have to act it out. I would be able to use it, instead of it using me.
"After that day, my life was never the same. Another piece of the healing puzzle had fallen into place. 'What you resist, persists.' I had heard it so many times, but I never fully understood the depth of the statement. By resisting the 'bitch' in myself, I had kept it locked into place. The minute I accepted it and saw its gift, I relaxed my resistance, and it became a nonissue for me. It became a natural healthy part of who I was. Now I don't ever have to be a bitch, but if it is appropriate, which in this world it sometimes is, I can use that quality to take care of myself."
— The Dark Side of Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance, and Dreams
Own Your Talents
"I wasn't willing to appreciate my talents. For some reason, I had always believed that downplaying the best parts of myself made me a better person. That afternoon I learned one of the most valuable lessons of my life: not only is it okay to say nice things about ourselves, it's imperative. We must recognize our gifts and our talents. We must learn to appreciate and honor all that we do well. We must search out our uniqueness. Many people cannot own their success, happiness, health, beauty, and divinity. They are afraid to see that they are powerful, successful, sexy, and creative. Their fear keeps them from exploring these parts of themselves. But in order to authentically love ourselves we have to embrace all of who we are, not just the dark but the light as well. And learning to recognize our own talents allows us to appreciate and love everyone else's unique gifts."
— The Dark Side of Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance, and Dreams
Karmic Relationships
"The Law of Responsibility governs the choices we make. There's no accident in who we are attracted to and why we married them. It's in the seeds of our karma. Every person we attract into our lives is there to move us to the next phase of our personal evolution. They behave in whatever manner is necessary to show us the places where we need healing and make us confront the issues that prevent us from fulfilling our potential. When we take full responsibility for our lives, we understand that the relationships we find ourselves in are not mere accidents but custom-designed opportunities to heal our emotional and spiritual wounds.
"Karmic relationships, by definition, are relationships that are meant to be. A relationship is karmic whether it's traumatic, abusive, happy, satisfying, or purely sexual. Our soul's vibratory frequency creates a field of resonance that surrounds us and attracts those people who vibrate at the same frequency. If you have issues with being abandoned, you vibrate at a particular frequency, and you attract people in the same frequency who will abandon you. Until you heal this wound, you will continue to attract people who bring it to your awareness.
"There are no accidents. Understanding the energetic resonance of our souls is essential to being able to cut the karmic cords that keep us tied to our partners in negative ways. If we don't understand the energetic resonance of our souls, we won't understand why we attract certain people into our lives and why these people act in particular ways. To complete the process of taking responsibility we must acknowledge that, at some level, for some reason, we attracted our partners into our lives."
— Spiritual Divorce: Divorce as a Catalyst for an Extraordinary Life
Making Peace With Your Story
"To liberate ourselves from the confines of our stories, we must be willing to give up the comfort of our self-made cocoons. I once heard a story of a young girl who asks a wise old woman, 'How does one become a butterfly?' With a twinkle in her eye and a big smile, the old woman replies, 'You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.' Breaking out of the cocoons of our stories can sometimes be a slow and painful process, but the moment we break away, we liberate our souls and bask in the joy of emotional and spiritual freedom. In order to step outside our stories, we must first learn to love, honor, and cherish them for all the ways they have contributed to us. We must acknowledge the experiences they have brought and the wisdom they have bestowed on us. Then and only then will we be able to make peace with our stories and move beyond them to fulfill our deepest desires."
— The Secret of The Shadow: The Power of Owning Your Own Story
