We all have [a] constant flow of feelings, but whether or not we're willing to experience them is what makes us open like flowers or close like tombs. Letting your feelings move through you keeps you emotionally flexible and up-to-date. Because you're not dragging along unresolved fears, anger, resentment, or sadness from the past, your heart is available to what's occurring now. So, when you meet someone who might be appropriate for you, you can bring yourself wholeheartedly to this new experience.
To see if your heart is open, ask yourself the following questions:
• Do I have a positive, curious, welcoming, trusting attitude about most human beings?
• Am I willing to work through the wounds of my childhood to open my heart to another person?
• Would I be willing to work through my memories of the heartbreak in my previous relationships in order to love again?
If not, make a pledge to yourself that you will ask each day for the resolution of these hurts. Seek outside help if you need to, because when you consciously ask for this healing, it will be forthcoming.
— Daphne Rose Kingma in 101 Ways to Have True Love in Your Life