Mindful Listening and Dialogue Group

Group Makeup:
Six to eight people participate in the Adult Group at Starr King Unitarian Universalist Fellowship in Plymouth, New Hampshire.

Goal of Group:
The purpose of the group is to thoughtfully explore the Spiritual Literacy themes as well as our personal spiritual journeys through mindful group discussion. As we participate in the group, we create an intention to become more attentive, respectful, and accepting listeners. Thus we encourage more personal, intimate, and heart-felt exchanges, rather than intellectual debate or "tennis match" type discussions.

Preparation:
During the initial session, the group leader explains that she would like to cultivate mindful listening throughout the sessions, encouraging what she calls a "spirit of namaste" awareness that she reminds participants of at different points over the sessions. She is referring to her background in yoga and the actual gesture of “namaste” where one places one's hands together at the heart chakra, closes one's eyes and bows one's head to the other person; this allows both people to come to a place of connection and timelessness together. If it is done with deep feeling in the heart and with the mind surrendered, a union of the two spirits can blossom together.

To create this "spirit of namaste" awareness in the Spiritual Literacy Group, the group leader requests that each participant pay attention to fully receiving what other people are saying as they are sharing their feedback and to try to be in other people's experience and to check in with themselves before responding -- to their own body awareness, to their choice of words, and even to their motivation for responding at all. She also asks that participants give some breathing space after each person has shared to let what they have said fully "land." They are encouraged to only respond when they feel moved to do so from a place of deep presence and mindfulness.

Group Process:
• Group check in
• Be together in silence to come to a "present moment" place
• Experience a reading or meditation about the DVD episode theme
• Discuss what that theme means based on past experience with it in their lives
• Watch the DVD episode with a pen and some paper to capture significant personal responses
• Have a few moments of silent reflection after the DVD episode ends
• Share together mindfully and with a "spirit of namaste" about what resonated for them and how their perception of the theme may have been altered by something in the episode or by what someone else shared about it.
• Mention the next theme (such as "forgiveness" or "compassion") and invite members to bring a reading or quote to share when they attend the next group discussion.
• Close with a related reading and/or meditation.

Benefits of Participating Mindfully:
Bringing the "spirit of namaste" to the group's awareness creates more mindful listeners.
Mindful listeners:
• Process the "whole" message — not only the words, but the tone of voice, facial expressions, gestures, and the silences in between the words.
• Make the speaker feel more valued and respected.
• Are able to sustain concentration and remember the speaker's message more accurately.
• Can listen to themselves more fully as they are sharing — choosing words and non-verbal ways of expressing themselves that match their intended meaning more closely.

Additional Resources on Mindful Listening:
• Composer Pauline Oliveros has given this concept a whole range of musical perspective and more at mindfulcommunication.com

— Contributed by Darlene Nadeau, Group Leader, Adult Education Group, Starr King Unitarian Universalist Fellowship in Plymouth, New Hampshire