The premise behind this book is that there is likely to be little spiritual growth in someone’s life unless they learn to exercise their muscles of forgiveness. Author Michelle Wadleigh brings a lot of personal experience and anecdote, along with practices and tested exercises, to this project.
Wadleigh does not mean only or even primarily forgiving others. She writes in an author’s note at the start: “While the name and content of the book initially focus on forgiveness, the truth is this book is all about love — self-love, love of others, and Divine love if you have that kind of relationship with the Divine. Ultimately, it’s about the natural reward of love.” Making amends and finding self-forgiveness are given equal importance.
Also before Chapter 1, and even before her Introduction, is a list of eighteen points called “The Cost of Not Forgiving.” She explains, “This list is based on the understanding that our somatic (bodily) experiences are influenced by our emotional well-being.” In other words, it costs you — your health in every respect — to hold in anger and resentment, either toward others or toward yourself. Her eighteen points each point to a way that people commonly experience this, including “poor relationships,” which she then explains briefly, as well as “sleep disturbances” and “loss of purpose.”
This is, as advertised, a workbook, so there are pages with blank lines that await the reader to reflect in writing with answers to prompts and questions. For example, in the third chapter called “Non-Judgment as a Principle of Forgiveness,” after discussing the many ways that human beings consciously and unconsciously judge one another, Wadleigh offers the first of four steps to getting more conscious about judging with “Ponder your answers to these questions.” The questions include: “What is my reason/impulse for judging? What feelings does judging spark inside me? How does my judgment keep me safe? How does my judging affect my relationships to those I judge?” Followed by blank lines to be filled in.
A later chapter titled “Taking Inventory” takes the workbook approach even further, with a series of twenty yes/no questions followed by five pointed questions waiting for the reader to record personal answers, such as “Is there anyone in your life who made a promise to you and broke it? If yes, who?”
The final part of the book is focused on forgiveness as “a way of life,” with further practice suggestions to make this an everyday work for the reader.
