Whatever you’re doing, thinking, or saying, stop. Don’t go any further down the same emotional and mental path.
Drop back. Pay attention to what you experience in your body; to what is going on around you; to where the situation seems to be headed; and to how you’re helping to push it in that direction. Then ask yourself: “Is that where I want this interaction to go?” If not, say so out loud: “Let’s not go where I think we’re headed. Let’s figure out something different.”
Roll with whatever happens next in your body, but without fighting, fleeing, or freezing. Don’t try to control it, or run from it, or squelch it, or tear it to pieces. You might suddenly weep, or laugh, or shudder, or moan, or hug yourself. If so, let go and do it. Unless it will harm you or someone else in which case channel the energy so that it doesn’t….)
This process is especially helpful when your situation looks like it’s escalating toward a crisis.
— Resmaa Menakem in My Grandmother's Hands