Do not make a big show of your giving, either, because that invites feelings of indebtedness or reciprocity. "Do good work in secret," the masters say. This is the Japanese concept of toku, which translates as "virtue," but in practice means "unrewarded good deed." Toku is like the love we shower on a new-born baby. As the baby grows, it knows nothing of our sacrifices; it just knows that it is happy. Therein lies our reward. Give to those you love in ways they'll never know, and you elevate the collective spirit of humanity.
— Philip Toshio Sudo, Zen Sex