This practice came out of gatherings at Lama Foundation, led by my beloved grief ritual teacher Beth Garrigus. It is also heavily influenced by the powerful “Truth Mandala” ritual developed by the Buddhist eco-philosopher Joanna Macy….

Preparation:

Create an alter by putting images or other symbols of real or mythical ancestors, teachers, friends, and nonhuman relatives that you or your group feel gratitude for. This altar will act as a loving guardian and an alchemical vessel for holding and processing our grief and associated emotions. Organize these objects in a circle and divide it into four imaginary quadrants. In each quadrant there is an object: a stone, dry leaves, a thick wooden stick, and an empty bowl.

  • The stone is for fear. A stone is how our heart feels when we’re afraid: tight, frozen, and hard.
  • The dry leaves represent our grief for what is happening to our world and for what has already fallen or been taken away from us.
  • The wooden stick represents our anger and outrage.
  • The empty bowl stands for our sense of confusion, uncertainty, and not knowing how to act or what to do in these times.

Instructions for the ritual:

  • Meditate, chant, or sing for five minutes to arrive in the space and the present moment.
  • Remember everyone who makes up the boundary on your altar. Allow yourself to feel connection and gratitude for at least fifteen to twenty minutes. Ask these guardian energies to help you/the group process the painful emotions.
  • Then pick up the four objects (stone, leaves, stick, or bowl) one by one. If you are alone, allow yourself to feel emotions associated with one object before you go to the next object. If you are with others, you can stay silent and just hold the stone/leaves/stick/bowl to express your feelings, or you can speak about these feelings after making agreements about the length of the ritual (forty-five to sixty minutes).
  • The body doesn’t differentiate between grief that is due to personal or ancestral trauma, or cultural oppression due to race, gender, economy, or climate. So, you are invited to do two rounds: The first round is for honoring personal/ancestral/racial/gender-based trauma. The second round is for honoring pain associated with the climate crisis.
  • Please breathe deeply and allow gentle movement of the body and eyes. Rock, swing, and/or sway gently as you listen to yourself and others. Tears, sounds to acknowledge others, wailing, yawning, or even hiccups are natural and okay.
  • You can self-soothe yourself, but don’t comfort others until the ritual is complete and unless clear agreements are in place.

At the end of the ritual, remind yourself (and others) that each symbolic object is like a coin with two sides. Grief exists only because we love. Anger exists because we want justice. Confusion and uncertainty are the ground from which new direction emerges. Fear speaks about our courage to face and name our fears.

Thank yourself and others (if any) and the guardian energies before you leave the ritual space.

— Kritee Kanko in A Future We Can Love by Susan Bauer-Wu