Umay (Sibel Kekilli) is a 25-year-old woman living with her husband and young son Cem (Nizam Schiller) in Istanbul. When her husband physically abuses her and threatens Cem, she takes the boy and flees to Berlin where she hopes to stay with her family until she gets a job and can find her own place. Umay is happy when her mother (Derya Alabora) embraces her upon her arrival. But when she tells her that she has left her abusive husband, the response is not what she had expected. She is advised to go back to her husband for the sake of Cem; otherwise he will be considered a bastard in the eyes of the Turkish community in Germany.
Umay's mother tries to hide the real reason for her daughter's visit from her husband Kader (Settar Tanriogen) because of his temper and high blood pressure. But when he finds out, he also orders Umay to return to her husband. He is deeply hurt by the dishonor Umay has brought to the family. When Kader realizes that she is determined to live an independent life, he and his eldest son Mehmet (Tamer Yigit) come up with a plan to kidnap Cem and return him to his father. Umay has no choice but to flee to a woman's shelter where she receives the sanctuary her parents are unwilling to give her and their grandchild.
When We Leave is an intense and soul-stirring drama directed by Feo Aladig that gives us a glimpse of the dire repercussions of misogyny in cultures built upon male privilege and domination. It is the official German entry for the Best Foreign Language Film in the Academy Awards. Sibel Kekilli gives a compelling performance as the brave and stubborn woman who gets a job and prepares to go back to school. Even though she has been deeply hurt by the hostile treatment of her parents, she tries to reconnect with them. When that doesn't work, she turns to her younger siblings, Acar (Serhad Can) and Rana (Almila Bagriacik). But her sister is angry that Umay's presence has interfered with her upcoming wedding. And her younger brother, whom she raised, is harassed by his vengeful older brother to punish Umay. It is painful to watch this young woman's repeated attempts to reconcile with her family denied. In an interview, the director Feo Aladag comments:
"Even if the story takes a tragic course, it was important for me to make clear to the audience how close the characters in the story come to a possible reconciliation and how hard it is for them at the end to overcome these problems in spite of themselves. That makes the absurdity of the dynamic of honor crimes more tangible. There are no winners in crimes of honor and honor killings. Even if it might appear from the outside that the family's honor has been restored, most families fall apart as a result."
It is also shocking to realize that according to UN Reports, there are more than 5,000 cases of honor crimes committed against women each year.
