Begin by settling into a posture that is comfortable yet alert, and then follow the mindfulness stages of soothing breathing rhythm, grounding, resting, and breath support…. If you do not have much time, then just engage with your soothing breathing rhythm…. Next imagine that you are identifying with your compassionate self by bringing to mind each of its qualities. Remember to create a friendly facial expression and imagine you have a warm voice tone.

Bring to mind a situation in which things were tough. Perhaps you were physically unwell or you were experiencing a bereavement or relationship conflict or you failed to achieve something that was really important to you. Tune in to the flow of self-critical thoughts and feelings.

Now imagine that you can see that part of you that does the criticizing – see it in front of you and notice what form it takes. Does it look a bit like you or something else? The self-critic can appear in all kinds of different forms. Notice the emotions it is directing at you. Be curious and note the anger or disappointment or contempt. Keep your friendly smile and try to see what's behind all the recriminating thoughts. What is your critic really frightened of? Does it remind you of anybody? Ask yourself: "Does my critic really have my best interests at heart? Does it want to see me flourish, be happy, and at peace? Does it give me a helping hand of encouragement when I struggle?" The answer is likely to be a resounding "no." The question that follow is, "Do you want to let it run the show?"

So, just as you felt compassion for your anxious and angry selves, you can do exactly the same for your critical self. Remember that looking through the eyes of your compassionate self is your sense of inner authority and the wise part of you that understands. See if you can hold the critical self with kindness, recognizing that it comes from being threatened or hurt in the past. Try to connect with the fear that lies behind it. This can be challenging because it can give you a sense of just how much you have been bullied by this critical self in the past and how you may have lacked an authority to restrain it. But don't go any faster or any deeper than you feel comfortable with. Now gently direct the following questions to your critical self:

  • What is it that you really need?
  • If you got what you needed, how would you feel?

Now imagine that you direct a flow of energy toward the critical self that takes the form of how it would feel if its needs were met. If the self-critical part needs love and attention, for example, and if it would feel at peace if it received this, then imagine that the flow of energy takes the form of feeling at peace in whichever way feels best to imagine. As you direct this flow of energy, you can make the following aspiration:

  • May you be free of the pain that is causing you to be angry and critical of me.

Or, if you prefer:

  • May I be free of the pain that is causing me to be angry and critical of myself.

As you say these words and phrases, or similar words, imagine a flow of compassion toward the self-critical part; and if the feelings do not flow so easily, then focus on the following intentions: the wisdom that sees through the self-criticism and appreciates how we are all caught up in the flow of life and undergo difficult challenges; the strength that holds and contains the anguish of the self-critical mind; the warmth that softens and connects to its underlying needs; and the courage to meet those needs rather than be drawn into a self-critical spiral.

When you have finished, let the image of your critical self fade and spend a few moments tuning in to the feelings that have arisen in you, noticing in particular how this feels in your body. Then rest without focusing on anything in particular, stretch, and get up.

— Choden , Paul Gilbert in Mindful Compassion