"To be a lover of God is to be drawn into the mystery of love, into the unfolding essential unity that is hidden within the heart. This love that is given as a gift is born into consciousness with the tears of separation, with the longing that breaks open the heart. Love awakens us with the call of the reed that is torn from the reed bed, the anguish of the soul that comes to know that it is separate from its Beloved. The eleventh-century Sufi Abu Sa'id ibn Abi-l-Khayr said, 'Sufism was at first heartache. Only later it became something to talk about.' To be a Sufi is to live this cry of the soul, this primal pain of separation. Longing takes us back to love, and the price is tears stained with the blood of the heart.
"The journey of the lover is a one-way street of love, and our tears carry us into an abyss of longing, of aloneness and anguish. But in this desert of desolation when despair seems our only company, something is born, something infinitely precious and tender beyond our understanding. Our soul senses the intimacy of its Beloved, that He is as close as 'the tears that run between the eye and the eye-lid.' We begin to experience a love affair that is as intoxicating as it is painful, as wondrous as it is terrifying. We are awakened to the softness of His touch, to the sweetness of His embrace.
"These are the secrets of the mystic, of one who has been taken by love. For each lover this love affair is unique and often too intimate to be told. It is what we have always wanted, what gives our life its real meaning. Whether in the sweetness of His touch or the intense pain of being without our Beloved, we are caught in the grip of a love that consumes our whole being. The love and longing awakened within the heart are all that is real. In the moments of sweetness and of pain we know that we are connected to our Beloved. We feel the value of our heart's sorrow, and know how precious is this thread of longing.
"The mystical path is living the connection of the heart, the innermost connection of love. We aspire to remain with Him, to keep our attention on our Beloved. We long to be with Him whom we love; we need to see the face of our Beloved. And yet the world distracts us, and so easily we seem to lose our connection. We are caught in the affairs of the world, in our daily desires and problems. How quickly do we forget our heart's true desire! The veils of the world close tightly around us, seducing us with its myriad images. And then suddenly our heart calls to us and again we remember. We turn back to Him to whom we belong. We are reawakened to love.
"And so we make our gradual journey back to love, our spiraling path that takes us deeper and deeper within. He whom we love is always with us, whispering the secrets of love; and we need Him and yet forget Him. And in the midst of our heart, hidden even from our knowing, the mystery of divine love begins to reveal itself. In our heart of hearts the grace of God changes the substance of our being. Gradually we are permeated from within by a light that belongs to the sun of suns, by a love that is pure presence. 'It takes time to make a soul pregnant with God,' but this is the miracle that is being born within us.
"Why are some chosen to live this life of love-longing? Because it is His will, because in the tapestry of His creation He has made some human beings to live the life of His lover. They are 'branded by God' and can belong to no other. No other relationship will fulfill them; no human lover can take hold of their heart. They can fall in love with a human partner, but something is always missing, an essential note cannot be played. However much outer life seems to offer, only one thing really matters: the heart's love affair with God.
"It is not easy to belong to God. He is a jealous lover and demands our complete attention. We give our whole life and our heart for the purpose of love. Pledged to love, we are emptied of everything that might interfere with the work of love. We are remade as a mirror for the love of God so that it can shine into His world. We are polished by our problems, by the difficulties of our life, and the pain of our love for our Beloved.
"The work of the lover is to be attentive to love, to stay with the inner connection of the heart despite all of life's difficulties, despite the distractions that surround us. We cry, we pray, we fight to remain looking towards our Beloved. We strive to keep our heart clean. We work upon ourself diligently, with perseverance and patience. With the practices of the path, meditation, the dhikr (the repetition of the name of God), we aspire to remember Him with each and every breath. We live the fullness of our outer life, family and work, and at the same time struggle to keep our inner attention focused on the heart. For the one thing that really matters, that absorbs our inner attention, is the demand of our love for Him and His need for us."
