"What worries me? My weight. There is more of me than there should be. What else worries me? My fights with old friends over politics, and making new friends even when I don't keep up with the old. I also worry about my greed for life, which is a great blessing and a great curse. I worry about having so many possessions when others have so little. I am afraid that I make a lousy disciple. There is too much of me and my worries to carry around.
"Yielding to these worries makes me feel very lonely. Ironically, much of my loneliness comes to me by way of these worries. I go deep inside. I forget to talk to others about just how silly some of my concerns are. I forget to talk to God. In many ways we are all the same, both very full and very busy, and very empty and very worried. Our loneliness comes from this strange mix which is simultaneously 'too much and too little.'
"Jesus says to carry only a pair of sandals and a tunic, and I think, 'My God, how would we ever manage?' But every now and then I see beyond my possessions and my worry, and I see what Jesus means. My life is cluttered, and I don't trust that God will provide. I understand a smidgen of what Jesus was saying to his disciples about 'taking' nothing for their journey. If I let go of what I don't need, double portion returns to me. I hear Gandhi's gifted words, 'Don't want what others can't have.'
"Being needy inside the experience of 'too much' is standard American fare. We have it all, but we are still needy and lonely. When we share our experiences with one another, we at least help with the loneliness.
"I like to think that God has a great city in mind for the whole world. In that city, we all will dance wearing sandals. We need take nothing for this journey. We will be full. We will not be lonely any more."