"BETTY SUE FLOWERS: It seems to me that, paradoxical though it sounds, people who are on this journey, who succeed to some extent in getting rid of this false self, appear more truly unique. They appear to be more individual than people who are hard at work creating their own individuality. A real uniqueness shows through. It makes them extremely attractive to other people, who want to be around that beauty of the unique.
THOMAS KEATING: All I could say to that is, what are you waiting for? All you have to do is to stop being who you think you are, and you couldn't be more delightful! Because there's nothing more beautiful than the uniqueness that God has created in us. It's just buried like a diamond underneath a pile of garbage. That is not God's fault, but the misuse of our freedom and the imposition on us of all the negative forces in the environment and our social milieu. It is a job to climb out of those influences. But all the work is in letting go of those influences and not reinforcing them. You don't have to create the beauty — you've got the beauty. You don't have to create the freedom — you've got it. You don't have to create the image of God in you — you have it. You don't have to win over God's love — you have more than you know what to do with. You don't have to become more beautiful — because nothing could be more beautiful than your own, particular uniqueness."