"Our group met on Maundy Thursday, the commemoration of the Last Supper, when Jesus blessed and washed the feet of his disciples, knowing that one of them would betray him. Entering the living room, I place my bowl of water filled with floating rose petals on the table. Dipping my towel into the water, I ask Milka to hold out her hands. Gently, I massage her fingers with the warm, wet cloth, and then dry them. Gazing directly into her eyes, I say: 'Milka, I wish for you a peaceful life, free of fear, joyful in new discoveries.'

" 'I wish the same for you, honey,' she replies, her face flushed with pleasure.

"Since these elders aren't agile enough to stand up and walk around the circle, why not have them bless each other aloud while seated in their chairs? Encouraging them one by one to bless Milka, at first they seem embarrassed. But soon a momentum takes hold. A warmth of love floods the circle as I proceed to wash and massage the hands of each elder. After the massage, each elder receives a verbal blessing from each member of our circle.

"I think to myself how seldom we humans bless each other unreservedly. Friends and family come and go; do we bless them, not simply in a silent way, but aloud so they can feel our love? How many elders are given a communal opportunity to bless each other and their caregivers? Would elder rituals such as this one open a door for more meaningful days?

"Momentarily allowing them to get beyond their petty likes and dislikes, this ritual helped my group of elders share genuine love. . . .

"I realized the importance of taking a day, or even a few hours, out of ordinary time to create special moments, to express love in action. Instead of allowing the days to flow into one another soon to be forgotten, if we open ourselves to ritual, our lives are placed in the context of something greater than the unwanted changes we suffer — illness, aging, and death. Chaplain Rabbi Samuel Seicol once said that 'we need rituals to build a spiritual moment.' "