“On a Monday, our day off, I found myself in Walmart. I was miserable, having convinced myself, yet again, that the sisters still hated me. On top of that, my feet ached, and I was having hot flashes. As I walked the aisles, I asked myself, Do I still want to be in this community? I knew I wanted to be a sister. But did I need to be a sister in this community where I felt I couldn’t do anything right?
“I realized I was in the electronics department and I had completely forgotten which electronic item I had come here to purchase. The brain fog made me stop and stare. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, deep in my soul, I felt the words, I’m not leaving. I don’t care if they set me on fire. I don’t care if they beat me with fire hoses. I don’t care what they do to me, I am not leaving. Suddenly, I felt lighter. My forehead relaxed. My thoughts became uncluttered. I picked out my new phone charger, threw in some shampoo and hand cream, and breezed through checkout with a sense of renewal.
“After what I started to call the Walmart Revelation, life finally — truly — got infinitely better for me in community. I had released the idea of running away from the stress and fear of this situation and — just as when I had abandoned all the plan Bs in my secular life — the deepening of my commitment gave me strength from above.”
