When you are able to use the Six Mantras [see below] with your loved ones, you will find that you are building a kind of home together. By listening compassionately to yourself, you have started to come home to yourself. With compassionate communication, you can help your loved ones come home to themselves. Your loved ones are also looking for home — for some warmth and a refuge. Once you have a home, you can help the other person. You are confident because you know how to connect with yourself and make a home for yourself. Your confidence can inspire others to do the same. They may find a home in you, and then lean on that to build a home in themselves.

You don’t need an iPhone to do this. You need your eyes, to look at them with compassion. You need your ears and your mouth to listen with compassion and speak mindfully. When your loved one is able to go back to himself or herself, then your relationship becomes a real relationship, because both of you feel at home in yourselves. Don’t be afraid to give your loved ones the space they need to listen to themselves. When you have enough space to listen to your own self, when you come together, you find a home in each other as well as in yourselves. There is a communal home for you to share. This becomes the base of all your relationships. If you want to help society, your community, your country, you have to have a home base. When you have a true home in yourself and in your home, you have happiness, safety, and fulfillment. Then you are in a position to go out and help create a more compassionate and loving community.

Here are the Six Mantras of Loving Speech:

  • I am here for you.
  • I know you are there, and it makes me very happy.
  • I know you suffer, and that is why I am here for you.
  • I suffer, and I want you to know it. I am doing my best. Please help.
  • This is a happy moment.
  • You are partly right.
Thich Nhat Hanh in The Art of Communicating