The time to practice is as close as possible to the actual moment of the upset….
1. Focus or sink in
To focus means to become physically aware of what’s going on as sensation in your body…. Whether it’s physical pain or an emotion such as fear or anger, it will be expressed in the form of sensation. Pay attention to that. Is your chest tight? Breathing shallow or forced? Is your heart pounding?
Don’t try to change anything. Just stay present….
Do not – repeat: do not – use this occasion to analyze or justify yourself….
Taking time with this first step is important for a couple of reasons. First – as in all good biofeedback work – being consciously present to your body guarantees that you won’t repress the emotion or dissociate from it…. Second, it forces you to stay with sensation, which is where the work is going on anyway.
Anchored there in the midst of all your upset, you begin to say, softly and gently, “Welcome, anger,” or “Welcome fear,” or “Welcome pain.”
Why would you want to do a crazy thing like that? Isn’t the point of this practice to get rid of that troublesome emotion or physical affliction?
No. The point is to not let it throw you out of presence. And the way – the only way – to do that is to wrap your deeper self around it through the power of your compassionate attention….
What you are welcoming is never an outer situation, only the feelings and sensations working within you in the moment…. Once we have endured and integrated what is on our plate internally, then what we do with the outer situation is for us to decide. Surrender means doing something out of the power of integrity, not knuckling under….
3. Let Go
The most important point I can make about this step is not to get to it too quickly. The work is really done in the first two steps, and this last one should be embraced only when you sense that the energy bound up in the upset is beginning to wane on its own….
Remember that letting go, too, is only for this moment….
When you do let go, there are two ways to go about it.
The simplest is merely to say, “I let go of this anger” (or fear or pain), using the same word with which you named it before.
But Mary Mrozowski, the actual founder of the method, preferred an unvarying litany:
I let go my desire for security and survival.
I let go my desire for esteem and affection.
I let go my desire for power and control.
I let go my desire to change the situation.
The goal is simply to stay present, at this deeper level “for the duration.” Every moment of conscious presence actually takes place in eternity….
It is not about giving up things we want or rolling over and playing dead. It is about connecting with an energy of substance so powerful and vibrant as it flows through our being from the infinite that all else pales in comparison. It not only flows through our being; it is our being.— Cynthia Bourgeault in The Wisdom Jesus