Here is the basis for the saying "It takes two to tango." If one party sees himself as an adult and the other as a baby who crawls, there will be no feud.

This is a very useful concept in the deflection of hatred. If in the heat of a misunderstanding we can build a bridge to a deeper reality, defining each party's capacity to see, we will not allow ourselves to be dragged into the artifices of ire.

Nilton Bonder, The Kabbalah of Envy