I resist my own awakening. I push hard against that for which I most deeply long. I sense, deep within, that there is more: more to know, more to experience, more reality than my careful definitions of God. I intuit larger places, and a greater meaning to being 'born again' than only the assent of the heart.

But when the invitation comes to step past comfortable conclusions, my usual response is not to run toward this newness, but instead, to be afraid. In fact, to cling even harder to the ideas that keep God a careful object of study, not a Subject who will totally change the way I experience my life.

To awaken is not about staying in the same place and seeing, from there, new vistas. Nor is it about having enlightened insights, or realizing new thoughts or ideas. It is to find myself in the new vista, looking back at my former life with an entirely new set of eyes. It is, literally, to be changed; the spirit within becomes my sight.

— Paula D'Arcy, A New Set of Eyes