It is written that already, forty days before our creation, G-d selects a match for us. That knowledge is very fortifying, for if a potential match doesn't work out, there is no sense of personal rejection. We find consolation in the thought that this person was probably not the one G-d chose for us. So although we must do our part in pursuing a match, if in the process we encounter disappointments, we don't despair. We put it down to its not having been basherte (the Yiddish word for predestination).
— Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis, The Committed Marriage