When You Refuse to Forgive

When you say no to forgiving and fail to resolve the wrongs of the past, your wound continues to bleed and may infect your relationship with others. If, for example, you cut yourself off from a cold, uncaring parent and never come to terms with your pain, you may project your "emotional sensitivities and yearnings" onto your children, unconsciously burdening them with your unmet need for validation, and causing them, in turn, to feel unsafe with you. You risk imposing on the next generation a "revolving slate of injustices."

Janis Abrahms Spring, How Can I Forgive You?